Cohabitation.

If commitment and marriage is important to you then this is bad, bad, bad, bad, very very bad.

The only time you can cohabitate is if you’re engaged with an agreed wedding date. Anything else and you're wasting your time.  And no contrary to popular wisdom cohabitating doesn’t make him anymore committed.

Don’t believe me then I hope the following stories act as a gentle warning.

A work colleague and her boyfriend have been cohabitating for ten years.  He won’t propose and she is at her wits end.  She is practically pulling her hair out.  All her friends are either married or getting married or having children.  Each time she receives a wedding invite, her anxiety levels go into overdrive and she starts nagging him.  They have regular ‘chats’ about why he won’t propose and does that therefore mean he doesn’t love her. Some days she would come into work visibly upset.  I’d ask what was wrong and she’d reply with:

 ‘Well we had another chat last night and he’s still no closer to proposing. I don’t know what to do. Why won’t he propose?’

He won’t propose because he gets her for free.  He also gets to share a bed with her, gets his washing done and his dinner cooked. 

Another friend and her boyfriend were also living together for about ten years.  They seemed really happy and enjoyed an active social life.  Their diaries were constantly filled with weekends away or some other social commitment.  After ten years she asked what his intentions were.  He responded by moving out.  Shortly after breaking up with her, he started dating a girl who used to be a mutual friend.  She was distraught.  She was in so much pain that she stopped eating and her hair started falling out.

Ok gentle readers please take heed and please don’t let this be you.

By the way in the case of the first story.  He still hasn’t proposed.

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