Why we shouldn't nag.

The reason we shouldn’t nag or criticise is because both build resentment. 

It’s easier to nag and criticise.  Unfortunately these tactics don’t work in the long term.   I know a married woman who nags her partner like you wouldn’t believe.  Her family nag him too.  She constantly plays the victim.  I know she’s angry but her nagging hasn’t worked.  It demotivates him and makes him less inclined to do what she wants him to do. 

Recently my Rules friend K and I have been sharing some of the things we want to discuss with our guys.  We then talk through how we can say them in a nicer, kinder and gentler way. 

Being consciously aware of what you’re saying and how your words affect your partner is tiring.  You have to stop yourself and think before you speak.  I decided long ago that if I couldn’t find a nice way of saying something then I would either a) wait until I found a nicer way or b) I wouldn’t say anything at all.

From personal experience it can be tiring and exhausting when the easier option is to say whatever you want.

We have two choices. 

Adopt the former which will erode your relationship. Or choose the latter which is harder but longer term worth the effort and commitment.

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